Last time I posted about my dose of the blues.
One of the bad ones was resolved.
Once more work is a happy peaceful place and the problem gone.
It is time for coming to terms with what happened.
It is time to let the anger and frustration go.
It is time to let the others say what they need to say.
The way I've said put it to them is that we must slough off the skin that grew during that time.
Vent once then let it go.
Appreciate that the right decision was made.
That there was sadness for the one who had to leave.
It's surprising too, what one can learn about oneself during a time like this. I've learned just how much it can affect my health. That exhaustion comes from only being able to sleep 3 or 4 hours each night before being jerked awake in cold terror at the thought I'd missed something, with facing this problem. That the adrenalin pumped into my body to cope with a full day of work dealing with inordinate amounts of stress, aggravation, stupidity, uncooperative behaviour, oddity in not a good way, monitoring what is going on in a whole other job to prevent theft and errors, is beyond what a body needs and leaves me so wired up I can't rest properly. When it is so bad the only night I could rest properly was each Friday, and then had to spend Saturday in bed just resting and napping. That there was no time for me in all this.
After the boss acted, I came home that night and had a hot shower, some hot food, a nice cup of tea and went straight to bed. And slept for 8 hours straight. Every night since had been full of healing sleep and each day at work, the calm and positive energy that our team has when all is well. This weekend could not be more different from last weekend! I am so full of energy and feeling positive and wanting to do things around my house which I have not felt for at least 3 months.
For weeks I've done little more than the basics of keeping clothes clean for work, keeping the kitchen and bathroom hygienic, and changing the sheets on the bed.
So far today, I've had my lie in, started working on idea for a new tunic length jumper with a slip stitch pattern (more of that to come soon), been shopping, washed the net curtains in the lounge, cooked a lamb tagine for dinner, put my washing on, packed up the new yarn I got today (Spotlight at half price!), and am planning a nice evening in front of tv with my I Am Not An Aran cream cardigan.
I had stopped knitting this because I was fretting and worrying with every stitch about the now resolved work problem, and was starting to associate bad things with the cardigan to the point where I had to put it away or I would never have worn it. Now it's back out, and the right front looks like it will be completed tonight with help from Lewis. Then the back will get a few more rows done. I'm hoping to cast on for the second sleeve before the weekend is over so I can work on it during my to and from work train trips.
Dare I even set a goal to have all the pieces finished by this time next week? It's not impossible !! It would be lovely to have a new cardigan to wear to work, it is so long since I treated myself to new clothing.
Tomorrow I am hoping to get into some real spring cleaning and making my home fresh. It's part of the catharsis I need right now to keep getting better again.
Life is good again!
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